My OCD iPod Touch Adventure

Discussion in 'Introduce yourself' started by sonagi, Jan 9, 2009.

  1. sonagi

    sonagi New Member

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    There is something about buying a new gadget that sends me into OCD overdrive. Like a Spartan mother coldly appraising her own newborn child for physical imperfections and defects, I scour any new product I buy for nicks and blemishes. The iPod Touch was no exception to the rule. When I first removed the device from its plastic shell on December 15th, 3 PM, I skipped the marveling phase and went straight to appraising the physical perfection of the device.

    It failed. There were two tiny nicks on the aluminum border, and multiple tiny scuffs around the edges. I raised an eyebrow in slight disbelief, much as The Rock would do when approached by a belligerent grandmother; I wanted to respect the device, but these blemishes made it hard for me to accept it.

    But accept it I did, just as Carlos Pasquez accepted his girlfriend on the Jerry Springer Show though she was pregnant with another man’s child.

    But benevolence be damned, as this iPod fought me the entire way during our honeymoon period.

    “Baby, let me watch Youtube.”
    “Sure thing, you want to watch some failblog? Not a problem.”
    “Haha, the dude is about to…”
    “Oops! Sorry, but I want to exit because I’m tired.”
    “The hell!”

    Youtube exited unexpectedly, and every time I synched up the time would change… Some factory worker in Cupertino was laughing his head off because the product he dropped during manufacturing was purchased by an overly sensitive consumer.

    I was nervous, I was fretting. I went to the mac store and convinced a store employee to exchange it. He brought out another box and I eagerly opened it, hoping that my previous itouch was a fluke. I peeled back the silicon sticker with faux icons and cradled the device in my hand. It glowed with power under the halogen lights, and then I saw it…

    … the home button’s black plastic had been chipped to reveal a white streak about half a mm long. The aluminum sides were scuffed mildly again. The employee looked at me impatiently, and I felt my face becoming hot; I was about to become an “annoying customer.”

    “Er… This small nick is kind of bothering me…”
    “What nick? That little thing? You serious?”

    After a few minutes of going back and forth, the manager had to get involved and finally she decided to appease me by bringing out one more box. I prayed that it would be a winner.


    It wasn’t perfect; the aluminum sides were scuffed again for some reason. But I thanked them for their time and rushed out of the store with my new itouch. I didn’t want to be a hassle, nor did I want to lose all of my dignity.

    That night, I took my new device for a test run. The back had this strange slant that when under the proper light made the device appear dented. The top button was loose, but I was willing to forgive. I wanted to love this product, I wanted to accept it. I climbed into bed, turned off the lights, and switched on Dark Knight.

    Lo and behold, light bled through the edges of the device, and I turned my lamp back on quickly, as if I had just spilt orange juice on myself. I analyze the device and see that the rubber frame was not flush with the aluminum sides. I wanted to ignore it, but my OCD complex kept boiling inside of me. Why was it so hard to just get a normal ipod touch?

    The next day, I drove to a different apple store 20 minutes further from the one closest to my house for the sake of my dignity. I went in, explained my situation, and an employee brought out a new box. I open it, and saw that the ipod touch has a few scuffs on the aluminum rail. I ignore it, as I had come to the conclusion that all the devices were like that. I take it out of the plastic casing, and analyze it. Meanwhile, I was oblivious to the line of people forming behind me, as I was somehow stationed right in front of the cash register. I verify that there were no light leaks and I twiddle the buttons; just as luck would have it, they were extremely loose. In fact, they didn’t even click, and they wiggled around when I gently shook the device. I look at the people behind me, I look at the perplexed employee.

    “Everything alright?” he asked me.

    I stammered and mumbled about something about how the light still came out, and I cashed in my dignity for one more shot at a new ipod. The employee was not pleased to open up another ipod box. He studied me as my hand nervously extracted the new ipod. I held my fifth ipod in four days.

    But this time, the ipod had no scuffs around the aluminum edge; the buttons were very tight and clicked responsively. No light leaks, the processor was fast… I had found a winner! I thanked the employee, took my new prize home and marveled at it in the car. Then it hit me….

    … the home button was dark blue.

    I faltered for a bit. A superficially perfect device, with tight responsive buttons, whose only blemish was a blue home button? I smiled. I guess I couldn’t win them all.
  2. rileyman

    rileyman Banned

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  3. Gamma

    Gamma Active Member

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    How long did it take you to write this?? I mean seriously... introductions don't have to be freaking essays...

    Welcome to the forums!
  4. rileyman

    rileyman Banned

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    could you take a pic of the blue home button?
  5. mieraisamazing

    mieraisamazing Banned

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    LMAOO!!!!!! highlight of my day... awesome story dude no joke lol hahah
    seems like u found a winner!! enjoy it!
  6. Meikura

    Meikura Super Moderator Staff Member

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    If I could sig all that... I would. I really, really would

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    Absolutely epic haha! Seriously, welcome to the forum.
  7. Aprosamurai

    Aprosamurai Active Member

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    I'm going to make fourteen other accounts just to sig that.

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    Just don't tell anyo.......whoops.......Welcome to the forum I hope you enjoy you're stay and share any mind altering drugs you have with Meikura he's strange at times!!!

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  8. iamkewl

    iamkewl Banned

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    Oh my god.

    Please be the father of my children.

    That was the best written post I've seen in all my days browsing the interwebz.

    Thank you!
  9. Tman47

    Tman47 Active Member

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    dude i love your vocabulary omg youre a great freaking writer
  10. ThrowAway

    ThrowAway New Member

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    If it's perfect quickly have it encased in liquid acrylic.

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