If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines...

Discussion in 'Linux' started by sambalayne, Oct 25, 2009.

  1. sambalayne

    sambalayne Banned

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    UNIX Airways

    Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

    Air DOS

    Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on...

    Mac Airlines

    All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.

    Windows Air

    The terminal is pretty and colourful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

    Windows NT Air

    Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

    Windows XP Air

    You turn up at the airport,which is under contract to only allow XP Air planes. All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three times as big as they need to be. The signs are huge and all point the same way. Whichever way you go, someone pops up dressed in a cloak and pointed hat insisting you follow him. Your luggage and clothes are taken off you and replaced with an XP Air suit and suitcase identical to everyone around you as this is included in the exorbitant ticket cost. The aircraft will not take off until you have signed a contract. The inflight entertainment promised turns out to be the same Mickey Mouse cartoon repeated over and over again. You have to phone your travel agent before you can have a meal or drink. You are searched regularly throughout the flight. If you go to the toilet twice or more you get charged for a new ticket. No matter what destination you booked you will always end up crash landing at Whistler in Canada.

    Linux Air

    Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself.

    When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"

    -danw
  2. KevN

    KevN Member

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    Hahah this made me laugh.

    You forgot to add onto to Windows Airlines : The plane trip is delayed by 15 hours because every 50 feet the airplane travels, it is prompted to confirm its travel.

    And to Mac Airlines : If something is to go wrong on a flight, everyone just hopes to dear God it goes away.
  3. sambalayne

    sambalayne Banned

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    I didn't right that my freind danw did
  4. KevN

    KevN Member

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    Whatever
  5. Spyda

    Spyda Member

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    Cool story, bro.
  6. Lol this is funny!
  7. FailSafeIsntSafe

    FailSafeIsntSafe New Member

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    Excellent analogy.
  8. goldfishandcat

    goldfishandcat New Member

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    iPhone/iPod touch airlines ---- Super dumbed down but even 40 year olds still have problems. The airline flies small airplanes capable of the fastest speeds but are limited to 1/8 of their actual power. The terminal is nice and comforting with ticket agents urging you to fly with them. But the tickets always cost to much and are overrated. Once onboard they tell you that they will be taking away about 20% of the plane away for the flight controls (operating system) and unless you bought the premier ticket(the best product in the line) your cabin will fill up fast (memory). Other than that, you will have a wonderful flight unless you make an unruley request of the or order to many drinks, if this happens your in flight entertainment will show a spinning rainbow and the only way to complete the flight is to unplug the engines.
  9. KevN

    KevN Member

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    Story of my life.

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