First ever recording.

Discussion in 'Music, Movies, TV, and Videos' started by David., May 8, 2010.

  1. David.

    David. Active Member

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    This is my first ever recording as a rapper. My alias is rebel. This verse is called 'Forever/14 Bars'. Enjoy. And Please criticize it.

    Here

    If your comment appears below, don't mention it again please.

    Criticism:
    The "turn this place into a wasteland" line has been said to be rushed.

    Vocals low.
  2. yuyaera

    yuyaera Active Member

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    That's pretty cool. The words make sense, but some words don't go with the beat.
  3. David.

    David. Active Member

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    Such as?
  4. yuyaera

    yuyaera Active Member

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    You rushed? saying "I'll turn this place into a wasteland"
  5. David.

    David. Active Member

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    Ah I do see what you mean. I think it fits though. But you are an outside listener, so thanks for the input. Is the overall quality of the rhyme/lyrics good? I know its hard to hear, sorry.
  6. yuyaera

    yuyaera Active Member

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    Yeah the lyrics are really good.
  7. David.

    David. Active Member

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    Thanks. I usually do controversial raps, but I wanted to make a pure flowing one.
  8. yuyaera

    yuyaera Active Member

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    You should do a video on one of them.
  9. NitroBum

    NitroBum Active Member

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    sounds good. i agree on the rushed line that yuyaera mentioned
  10. David.

    David. Active Member

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    Aiight thanks. I won't fix it, because that took like 10 recordings alone to get it down. But I do appreciate it. Making a note in the OP

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